Rules

The five rules that should not exist:

1. Don't color inside the lines.

2. Don't pee your pants - what if you're cold or someone is attacking you.

3. Don't drool.

4. The mail flag must go up with outgoing mail.

5. I have to fill out a deposit slip at the bank.

The five rules that should exist:

1. No judging people.

2. Only one car per person - sorry Leno.

3. Internet is a free service.

4. A person can only be on death row for one year - stop using taxpayers money!

5. Don't hit boys - "don't hit girls" is one sided.

THE egg

I realized that the egg has got to be tired of all the ways it keeps getting humiliated. First of all, it is white which is the color of innocents. Then it is the pleasing oval shape without any sharp edges that would imply a certain attitude. During easter, families adorn them with pastel colored paint. They can be drained, which on most animals would be called "gutted." They can be boiled, poached, basted, over-easy, over-hard, scrambled, or sunny side up. Sunny side up? Are you kidding me? Another cutesy term in reference to the egg!? With all this decorating, cooking, and eating of an innocent product of nature, I imagine one of the eggs would have to crack. He would go over the edge and decide he'd had enough and was going to become the predator. The incredible inevitable egg!